The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you. - Kin Hubbard
When someone says, 'It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing', it's the money. - Kin Hubbard
If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard
It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed. - Kin Hubbard
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. - Kin Hubbard
A good listener is usually thinking about something else. - Kin Hubbard
Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune. - Kin Hubbard
A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on. - Kin Hubbard
Men are not punished for their sins, but by them. - Kin Hubbard
It's pretty hard to be efficient without being obnoxious. - Kin Hubbard
Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people. - Kin Hubbard
Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you. - Kin Hubbard
Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought. - Kin Hubbard
One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before. - Kin Hubbard
Everything comes to him who waits, except a loaned book. - Kin Hubbard
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. - Kin Hubbard
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature. - Kin Hubbard
So far I haven't heard of anybody who wants to stop living on account of the cost. - Kin Hubbard
Never get married while you're going to college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake. - Kin Hubbard
Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. - Kin Hubbard
There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it? - Kin Hubbard
There is plenty of peace in any home where the family doesn't make the mistake of trying to get together. - Kin Hubbard
Of all the unbearable nuisances, the ignoramus that has travelled is the worst. - Kin Hubbard
When you consider what a chance women have to poison their husbands, it's a wonder there isn't more of it done. - Kin Hubbard
The only time some fellows are ever seen with their wives is after they've been indicted. - Kin Hubbard
The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket. - Kin Hubbard
Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. - Kin Hubbard
Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation. - Kin Hubbard
The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them. - Kin Hubbard
Everything comes to him who waits but a loaned book. - Kin Hubbard